You Can Go Your Own Way

When I was younger, my favorite series of books were Choose Your Own Adventures.  So much so, that I still collect them today.  I'll hit up a used book sale, or new and used book store in a minute; scavenging for CYOA's.  I've even trained myself to look for distinguishing marks so that I can scan a 6-8 shelf rack in about a minute and a half. 

During a conversation with James the other day, waxing nostalgically when we were both supposed to be working, we pondered "What happened to these books?"  I say these books, cause CYOA's were just the forefront of an entire genre of "name your destiny" style young reader books.  Hey James!  Name Your Destiny would be a cool title for a new series!  There were several different brands.  Which Way.  Twist-A-Plot.  The Time Machine.  Interplanetary Spy (another favorite).  There were even Dungeons and Dragons versions.  Zork! had its own series.  Something for everyone.

 One day there was a plethora of these types of books, and before you know it, they had all dried up.  I remember going into Waldens books when I was younger (back when Waldens still existed) and seeing 2 shelves full of CYOA's.  I'd pick one or two, and be back in another couple of weeks.  Then one day, seemed like overnight, I went to the rack, and there weren't 2 shelves of books anymore.  There was only half a shelf of CYOA's, and no other styles.  I was crushed.  These books were my favorites, and now they were almost gone.  I had a hard enough time trying to even find a store that carried Interplanetary Spy, now they were gone from there as well. 

Honestly, I had become increasingly selective of the titles that were being put out.  I found that as the series went on, there seemed to be more pages of text, fewer pages of art, and less interesting choices.  I remember all the times I read and tried to discover the Mystery of Chimney Rock, and I had that decision of going to the attic or climbing out the window.  I think I only chose the attic once.  Hey, I was a kid and it scared me.  Maybe I'll go back and try and beat it now.  Or, maybe not.  The later books didn't seem as thought out.  The decisions were more "yes or no," "right or left."  The real choices seemed to have been replaced by quick, less thought out decisions.  This was one of the major selling points to me.  It was why I picked CYOA's over the other books, especially The Time Machine.  I know those books were quite popular, but not with me.  They were too verbose and boring.  I didn't want a history lesson, I wanted fantasy adventure.   With the newer CYOA's it seemed as though you would go 2 or 3 pages of text with no pictures or choices.  Normally you'd only get that much straight plot in the beginning during the character set-up. 

That was the beauty of CYOA's, the choices.  Not just being able to decide what to do next, but having two or three really good choices, and not really being able to choose.  When it was over you wanted to go right back and try another route.  One of my favorite books was a Which Way book titled Vampires, Spies, and Alien Beings.  I still don't think I've seen all the ending of the book to this day.  The plot hooked me from the beginning and immediately put the reader in charge of the story.  Plot: You win a contest and are invited to a movie studio to watch the filming of one of their movies.  They're testing a new special effects machine which goes haywire and makes the movies real.  From that point you get to choose which movie you want to enter, the vampire movie, the spy movie, or the alien movie.  It's great!  I even remember a few of the endings; which I won't divulge.  There was also one called Invasion of the Black Slime which scared me even more than Vampire, Spies.  Going into the old house with the slime coming off the door knob.  Brrr! 

That's actually one of the main differences between CYOA's and Which Way books.  Which Way's tended to lean more towards horror oriented stories which, when given the choice of where to go, added to the fear.  In the end you had only yourself to blame for that bad ending.  Next time don't go into that room.  Which Way's also had more dire endings where the reader would often die if they made the wrong choice.  CYOA's would generally leave the reader stranded with death as an eventual outcome.  I'm not going to knock either one of them, or really any of the books that surged during that time.  Thought, I still don't like the Time Machine books.  Many tried new formats like skill sets and statistics, which didn't really work for me.  There were so many to choose from.  Which Way had done two classic Star Trek choosers, as well as a series of super hero choosers for DC Comics.  Marvel had its own series.  Then there was GI Joe, Indiana Jones, Dr. Who, and Transformers. 

Truth be told, the series hadn't died.  Books were published until 1998, some of those being reissue of the older titles with updated pictures, and text.  Eh.  I can appreciate what they're doing, but there's always something about the originals. 

So, what killed them?  The market was flood with them.  Nothing can work as well as it should when it's been oversaturated.  When looking up CYOA's I came across this site: http://www.gamebooks.org/index.php.  This site has a great catalog of books of the CYOA type and others.  I even saw someone made a CYOA style erotic novel.  Wow, that's stretching.  What was the market campaign for that?  "Tired of your kids have all the fun?  Now you can join in, too with the new 'Find a Fantasy' series."  Can you imagine what one of these would read like.  Hurm.  Let's take a look.    

"Things with Serena went better than you expected, and you soon find yourself heading back to her bedroom.  As you slowly undress each other you still can't believe that you've finally made it to the place you'd always dreamed about.  'No games of foreplay, just give it to me.' Serena says.  On the dresser you see a pack of condoms.  Serena notices your gaze.  'Your choice.  Just don't keep me waiting.'  If you decide to wear a condom, go to page 27.  If you decide that you actually want to feel what's happening, go to page 69." 

"Page: 27.  You grab the box of condoms and pull one out.  You've wanted Serena for a while, and this may be your one and only chance to be with her, but remembering the 15 guys at work that told you how good it was makes you want to err on the side of caution.  The lack of sensation makes you last longer than you would have ordinarily and perform like a champ.  Serena's never had it this good and screams that to you every 30 seconds.  Eight hours later the two of you take a break from your activities due to a lack of energy and condoms.  Serena jokes and tells you that she wishes she had spent more time blowing you instead of blowing you off.  She says she now regrets all the guys she slept with before you.  You reply that without all that experience she might not have been as good.  You spend the rest of the weekend together, and every day, night, and weekend after that.  The End." 

"Page: 69.  You decide to take your chances and go native.  It's good, and she's good.  Real good.  Despite every effort to take your mind off the task at hand, you find yourself losing control.  You erupt before she does.  Serena gets angry and starts calling your worthless.  She tells you that you were a mistake, and that she wouldn't have brought you home if she wasn't so desperate.  She grabs your clothes off the floor and throws them out the window, 14 stories up.  She forces you, naked, out of her apartment and locks the door behind her.  It's one o'clock in the morning, and you live on the other side of town.  Getting home is going to be an adventure of its own.  You know that even if you make it, showing your face at work on Monday is going to be even worse.  The End."  (Choose Your Own Adventure style ending.)

"Page: 69.  You decide to take your chances and go native.  It's good, and she's good.  Real good, but you're better.  The night is everything you'd heard about and expected.  In the morning you put on your clothes and head home.  Three months later you get an unexpected call from Serena.  She tells you that she's pregnant and the baby's yours.  You quickly learn that Serena comes from a very backwoods family that still believes in shotgun weddings.  In just a few weeks, you're preparing to walk down the aisle.  As you walk, your foot slips on a section of carpet and you stumble backwards.  Serena's father mistakes your tripping as you trying to escape and shoots you in the chest.  As you lay there dying, looking up at Serena's face you think to yourself, 'Maybe it's better this way.  At least now it's over quickly, and you don't have to suffer through 20-30 years of marriage.'  The End."  (Which Way style ending.)

Yeah, I think that book was a bad idea.  I'd choose Chimney Rock over that in a heartbeat.     

I miss CYOA books.  Obviously.  I think it's something kids could still enjoy now.  It's not as if these were trendy fads that passed with the times.  "What?  Choose Your Own Adventure books?  I left all mine in my parachute pants."  There's no reason that there couldn't be a comeback.  This time, let's keep it simple and to just a few well done series. 

If you think bringing back Choose Your Own Adventure books is a good idea, go to page 21. 

If you think that Choose Your Own Adventure books and those like them are better off dead, go to hell.